I am Radio, you know…your predecessor. Welcome to the realm of mass media. Ah, I see you’ve made yourself at home quite nicely! The decor you’ve chosen is very tasteful. In fact, I love what you’ve done to the place except for one teeny, tiny, insignificant thing – the fact that all my listeners are leaving me for you.
I don’t blame you for trying to give the listeners what they truly want (i.e. stories that pertain to or interest them, fewer or no commercials, and a wider variety of content), but I hope you can understand that I need to make a living too you know. It must be so nice for you, huh? Not having dorky commercials that everyone makes fun of, and being able to present whatever material you want because you are only focused on a specific audience. Well, my life isn’t as immaculate as your utopia seems to be and I’ve had to do a lot just to get by. The only way I make a living is through my advertisements and private donations. I suppose I’m just not as privileged as thee. You, on the other hand, do not need to rely solely on advertisements because your listeners would rather subscribe! I am free, yet they still choose you over me!
Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for you. I’m glad we can share this world together. I have no harsh feelings toward your ways at all, it’s just that some days I wish that your facility would…oh, I don’t know, be swallowed into the bowels of the Earth? (In a loving and friendly manner of course). With that said, I hope you live a longer life than I have and are able to stick around till the end. I am not sure what is ahead of us as far as mass media go (or whether mass media is even included in our future), but I cannot wait until that day when we will be together in that big broadcasting station in the sky, both looking back on this world.
Your Frenemy forever,
Ha ha! Very nicely done.