Dear Internet and Television,

Thank you so much for being part of our lives, but could you tone it down a bit? I lost my job this past week because you @#*!ers decided to take up all of our advertising and news report stuff. What the actual @#*! are you trying to accomplish?! You already have the hearts of every American. Why take away our jobs too?

@#*! off,

Everyone who lost their jobs due to you.