Dear Internet —
First, let me be clear that we could not be happier to have you in the neighborhood. You’ve definitely brought a youthful energy to the street, and have even kept us on our toes from time to time.
However, at this point, some of your indiscretions can no longer be ignored. Personally I thought it was kind of funny when you started pilfering from radio and music, copying and giving away their works to whoever asked. But now that you’re doing the same thing to me, it simply cannot be excused.
Don’t you understand that my art comes at a premium? I’ve built a living on selective audiences, people willing to pay in to receive high-quality, specialized pieces of art. And how do you respond? With loads of trivial, free content, or with streaming that substantially devalues my work, or — worst of all — with piracy, sending my content to whoever cares to receive it.
My next door neighbor, Film, has had similar complaints for a while, and there’s no telling the impact you’ve had on poor old Books down the street. Please, please, reign yourself in — it’s too much trouble for us to adjust our distribution and pricing models accordingly.
Ha ha! I love how TV thought pirating was funny at first. Very nicely done.